The Art of Happiness - Book review

The Art of Happiness, written by psychiatrist Howard Cutler, is based on a series of interviews with the Dalai Lama on the factors that lead to happiness. This book isn't simple; it's not green; and it's not frugal - but I made a lot of fundamental changes in my life because of it. This was my first, albeit baby, step to becoming mindful. And with all the recent talk around the blogosphere about stress, I thought I might pass this reading recommendation along. Here are a few of the things I learned...

1. The Purpose of Life - Simply put, the purpose of life is happiness - that's not the same thing as pleasure. Both pleasure and pain are physical experiences and very much outside of our control in that they can't be permanently sustained. But happiness (and in fact, suffering, as well) is a state of mind, is entirely independent of the physical experience, and can be sustained. We alone have the power over our happiness and suffering (it has nothing to do with how others have treated us, how much money we have, or a day of gloomy weather). Increasing our happiness and decreasing our suffering requires nothing but to identify and cultivate positive mental states; and identify and eliminate negative mental states.
2. Achieving Happiness Through Positive States of Mind - We all know the positive states of mind - generosity, kindness, tolerance, compassion, etc. But who can practice it all the time right? Especially when that car almost ran over me on my bike. But rather than viewing others as obstacles, annoyances, burdens (the lady who cuts you off in the grocery line, the rude sales clerk, etc), view seemingly negative circumstances as opportunities to practice kindness. In having positive interactions with others (even if their reactions are not positive with you), you become happier. These opportunities are everywhere if you look for them - I call it active compassion. Another method is to focus on the similarities between you and others. Remind yourself, we (even that person at work that lives just to make you miserable) are all just people; we all want food, shelter, healthy kids and a good job; and we're all bumbling along in life the best we know how. Has someone hurt or offended you?  Think of what might have happened in that person's life that has brought them to a point that they are SO unhappy that they have to make others unhappy. Let that thought make you more compassionate, more patient (and in the end, happier).
3. Reducing Suffering by Eliminating Negative States of Mind - To reiterate, suffering and pain are not the same. Pain is a physical experience. Suffering is a state of mind, or what we put ourselves through whether by guilt, anxiety, fear, anger, hatred, ignorance, greed, etc. Others are responsible for what they do (she hit me), but we are responsible for how we suffer (I'm going to be angry about it for the next 10 minutes). Identify ways in which you react automatically. For instance, when some one gets angry with you, you might immediately say something hurtful back. Start catching yourself in these moments. Perhaps the person isn't aware that their behavior was hurtful (someone cut you off in the grocery line not realizing you were waiting); perhaps they are being hurtful because they themselves are hurting. Is there something you can do to help? By stopping those learned reactions (he hurt me so I'm going to hurt him back) and pausing a moment to think, we give ourselves the opportunity to exhibit compassion, patience and understanding with others, making our lives less prone to anger, fear, and hurt.

I have to admit that I own VERY few books. I'm in the library so frequently, owning books is unnecessary. This, however, was one I wanted on my personal shelf. Although I've only read it once in it's entirety, I've enjoyed reading excerpts here and there before I go to bed. It calms my spirit, prepares me for rest, and reminds me of the big picture -happiness. But don't take my word for it. Experience The Art of Happiness it for yourself...